Jesus Heals

Epilepsy took a toll on me-for the past 2 years, 10 years, really all my life. But these last 2 years hit a toll - one that I thought I'd never make it thru--but God provides. Even when we do waver or think He has busted out on us---deep down we know better, which is why we bawl everytime we try to be BIG and tough and not need HIM!! We need Him for every thing-- or we wouldn't be breathing. I have been blessed with my 2nd go around family - we all love our Lord strongly-help pick the other up when down. Unfortunately when basically born with illness, the other very well- that person is doing most the "helping Up" in life. So illness is stressful as ever for us-- but is also beyond so for our family-- just remember that.

Gratefully since the two year battle of severe body pain I had after my 3rd awake brain surgery- I've gained blessings yet lost others due to the extreme cut out-- but have been healing from the extreme pain over the last two years-and almost instantly when we moved back to AZ-- for that I am ever so grateful!!

Alive

I can gratefully thank Jesus for having more and more plans for me... as for He is why I am still alive today.
I have encountered so much in life, more than a regular, now 33 year would have. Most people when they hear what I've been going thru medically, they instantly think I am in my late 40's, early 50's. Then with everything else in life as well, both all in my own hands, and in others-I do look ancient. But I AM so thankful I am alive.
They are amazing stories to be able to share. Not dwell upon. My biggest one will always be, to me, how my ex beat me right after my first brain surgery-but had he not, I never would have went running looking for Jesus during all the following chaos in my life. I wouldn't have been popping so many of my Phenobarbital-even while searching for Jesus and jamming hard to what is known as popular Christian music-blasted and screaming it at the top of my lungs driving. Yet, I really was trying to find Jesus-just in a really hurt, and confused way. Numbing that pain of my ex beating me, confusion on what to do with my 1 1/2 year old, life, support, and epilepsy-now addiction. It took my overdosing, near death... to realize there is MORE to life. To ask HIM for help. Give my life to HIM to guide.
All of my brain surgeries will always be amazing in my heart-but the topper was this third and LAST one this past February. It was just amazing. The world whom people I didn't even know were praying. People I barely knew were sending cards, gifts, calling, texting, messaging on Facebook and twitter. Will never be forgotten. God works miracles. Then to have been the amazing-AWAKE brain surgery. Now my neurosurgeon knew, I was one in a million that would go for it, and be right for it. Granted, it took three times for him to realize I was that laid back... but it was very much worth it. And it was amazing to live thru-be awake for, to remember.
Now with having epilepsy, for some odd reason I have been so called "blessed" with the craziest, some times really creepy very long term memory- that I sometimes would like to go in for a fourth brain surgery to have taken out. It isn't just a "thought" it is real--it is true memories-both good and bad- that a remember ALL THE TIME. They just are confirmed by people with normal brain, who are shocked that it comes so easy to me-in full remembrance, when they really have to search their memory logs....which is normal. May sound blissful, can be very aggravating in time!
And with all the times I was living on the edge, I was realizing that I was being "talked" to the whole time by our Lord and Savior-Jesus Christ. Would kindly tap me on the shoulders when doing so wrong. Allow my car to, yes, flip 3 times down a freeway-off to see this guy who kept following me in my life everywhere, to continue a relationship that never should have started.... I was leaving my ex at that time for cheating on me, yes, but hadn't yet completely. And he introduced himself for weeks as "single" .. even change the look of "his" home--until she rolled back into town--then he gave me a low down. And how first he was going to divorce her-then in time showed he was never. And I saw why-she had the perfect job for him. And that was sad. God made sure I didn't get up there when he located me in San Diego-to "tell him, at just lunch, no more visits" cause God knew his plans. And God was right. I called with whiplash-and a completely totaled Tercel-from rolling it 3 times down the 78 freeway. And he was angry I was not making it-as for he thought-even with my prewarning-we'd be making love in the hotel he reserved.
It is times like this that shock-but amaze me. And I sit here today loved by God, and seizure free-from walking close with Him. His plans are in HIS TIME, and are amazing. I have lived so many places where memories stick-and with epilepsy, I love, and connect with music. I used to seize with music at certain times-I no longer do!!! But I will always have deep memories of where I was, what year, what was going on-to all music of all type. And sadly to say-because I love so much music, after my ex beat me, I can recall so many songs that I overdosed to, and so many that I even recall bawling right after he beat me-crying down Killeen's roads I could barely see. The one down side to music, and memory.
Where memory can just be frightening. I am glad I remember all my friends-it just is amazing I remember ever detail of it too-3 times less brain. Kind of gets spooky.


Blessings to you all!!


Heather J Siebens

1 Corinthians 2: 9
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
     and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
     for those who love Him."
1 John 5: 14
And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in HIS WILL

All Smiles

I had an amazing appointment with my awesome neurologist Dr. Joseph F. Drazkowski at Mayo Hospital here in Phoenix, AZ. I was able to walk in with such cheer and smiles… which comforted HIM BIG-after we hugged he was able to sit down in relief!! Relief of no seizures this time!! No awful side effects or loss of sight or memory etc. It is honestly amazing how much the doctors heart truly is in it for the patients as well-which we always need to remember. I have seen this awesome neurologist for over 8 years, been thru so many “answers” together, that didn’t fall thru-yet we kept pushing forward, as Drazkowski knew we’d find an answer! He always had great positivity, and I am ever so grateful!!

We were able to share stories of what was going on in the eight weeks of recovery for me. What all I was doing. How quick I recovered. How exciting this is. Compared it to the 2 prior resections, in amazement!! We shared time with family during holidays- (which is always a fun story!!) He loves to see if I do make it thru family SEIZURE FREE!! We all know that can be stressful!!! I sure do!! It was great talks of past times I was so thankful for- Jesus guiding me to call him the night I overdosed so much I shouldn’t be here. He very much took care of that. This is one neurologist that truly never gives up on anything. Which is why when Obamacare begins to light up, and will show any change in seeing him, or his pay-anything… my blood begins to boil!!

So to end our talk about that… Obamacare-and how all the docs at Mayo would like him to kindly change his mind and focus on happiness of foreign countries or getting oil prices back down, whatever… he had to show me one of the new annoying implemented papers for it…. AT EVERY APPOINTMENT I am supposed to sign this paper that yaps about how many times the doc washed his hands-TWICE, answered questions, had on jacket- etc…. etc.. Even have a nurse that scopes the floors to interrupt and ask herself to double-check, like a cold call. Just thought this was ridiculous! People know how to call Patient Care, and my neurologist took care of me with one complaint I had about the doc prior him one time two years ago!! This is childish.

I have grown up… haven’t you? More paper, more trees, more trash. God only knows what this will do with the Obamacare even more.

Either which way, without it fully in control, last Tuesday, I had a marvelous follow-up with my neurologist Dr. Drazkowksi, who means the world in neurology, psychology, and care to me. I will not gamble that!! The White House looks like they need repetitive letters!!

Blessings all!! Pray you all are well!! Those who aren’t– Mayo is amazing!!!

In His Love,

Heather Siebens  @AliveinMe  @EpilepsyCures

http://www.twitter.com/AliveinMe

http://www.twitter.com/EpilepsyCures

http://www.youtube.com/Hetty4Christ

http://hiswill4me.blogspot.com

http://manyepilepsycures.blogspot.com

http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures

CHEERS!!

TO ALL!!
But Praise Jesus the most!!

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the GLORY OF GOD!

Whether lying in the hospital bed-with wires in your brain, or at home having seizures, or medicated to exhaustion, or thru 3rd AWAKE brain surgery-with success thru Christ-- I do everything for HIS GLORY. Use the tough times--seeing His Light! Reaching out to others-knowing HE HAS PLANS FOR ME, FOR YOU!! And not to dwell on the hard times, but to be thankful-excited-knowing His plans, whether seizure free to come or not-have a positive outcome for myself-you-many!! ALL FOR HIM IS THE BEST PART-- as we lean on Him with Trust!!!!!
So no matter what we are doing in our day-- do it for His Glory. What the outcomes are-just surpass our understanding of How Marvelous, and Wonderful HE ALWAYS IS-- as we seek to see that, every moment, every purpose. He loves you, even thru the struggles, to take this thorn, and turn it into something amazing that will change lives! It is just TRUST. The moment I found Him, and surrendered all my control.. and gave HIM ALL MY TRUST... He took it all full force- His way- His timing... and years go by... brain surgeries go by... and finally- the MOST AMAZING -- AWAKE BRAIN SURGERY WAS DONE!!!! And I AM EVER SO GRATEFUL!! As for I haven't felt so alive since I was 22!! I may have a headache-- but He blessed me with an early appointment today--to get my staples OUT-- AMEN!! 
I will continue to praise Him and share His amazing way-- of guiding me down this path to wellness- with AMAZING DOCTORS AND NURSES AND STAFF-- AT MAYO HOSPITAL HERE IN PHOENIX, AZ... THAT DON'T QUIT!!! EVER!!! FAITH!!
Blessings to you all!!! Live for His Glory!! 
Cheers to that!


In His Love and Grace,
Heather  @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures

Hebrews 9:28 so Christ, having been offered once to bear sins of MANY, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for HIM.

Seizure FREE

Who out there has been praying--asking--begging to be seizure free? Whether several months, years, decades... I know so many. I sure have been one of them. 
I was born with epilepsy basically. Five months old was the first, one year old was the medicated time forward. All my childhood, they were NEVER controlled. But they were a type that had a HUGE aura, warning, to tell me when to be in a safe place. As a child who is busy, living on the edge, that was a blessing from God. They were under control completely for the first time when I was 17-22. Then about 22, due to stress in my first marriage, my seizures began to change some--from atypical absence seizures--to complex partial seizures. And then I got pregnant...and they really hit a doozy. Talk about worsening. BUT ALL FOR AN AMAZING GIFT...my child Tory...never would I change a thing.
Thru all that, and a rough marriage, led to multiple brain resections. For that I am ever grateful. I learned the hard way how to find Jesus after my first brain surgery...worth every bit of suffering to find out THE REASON WE ARE HERE! Then, when found Him.. struggled thru addictions to numb pain--until I REALLY REALIZED it was to give ALL TO HIM... HE HAS ALL PLANS... that was when all things began to unfold for good!! In hard times, HE BROUGHT GREAT RESULTS...with trust and patience!! And I am forever grateful.
I was able to reach out help others thru my tough times, and learning. I was able to keep my light burning bright FOR HIM--thru ALL CIRCUMSTANCES... knowing He has awesome plans for you thru ALL-- ALL... just hold on tight with TRUST.. love Him and be obedient! HE HAS MORE TO COME!
And with all our stuff we touch peoples lives... some we know, some we don't. We help bring others to our Lord and Savior. We help others turn back to Him. We have others begin to wonder!! Planting of the Seed! We shouldn't dwell on tough times...be glad! As for He has plans for it all-- for HIS GLORY!! Be honored!!
My 3rd brain surgery just amazed me!! The surgery didn't. How HE watched and guided the surgeons, had everyone praying, kept everyone calm...HE AMAZED ME!!! Awake brain surgery. Only Christ could have someone be like me... so CALM and excited to be awake during brain surgery. He just amazed me... and I am sure ASTOUNDED my neurosurgeon, for me being so laid back and calm!! He is one amazing God.. why worry!!??
Know... He was and is there every step of the way. I KNOW THIS FACE TO FACE FOR IT ALL... AND DURING AWAKE BRAIN SURGERY!!! As I sit here typing seizure free still... I am twice as grateful. He just amazes me more and more every day... but I do know, prayers never stop. And I am here for answers, and prayers for all. Know that... @AliveinMe and @EpilepsyCures As for I am forever grateful!


Blessings... know HE IS WITH YOU, ALWAYS!


In His Grip,


Heather


Isaiah 58:11 The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.

New Beginning...

Our precious gifts from God

aren't too tough to be told;

they are gifts from Dear Jesus

His dear love cannot be sold.

How thankful to Christ you are 

living day by day here for Him.

Thru His light in our blessed life

Sharing with all, I WILL NOT GROW DIM!

That is just so true. I love my kiddo Tory so much. I am amazed and astounded at how much this kiddo can take at such a young age. Which time? When we had to leave my ex the first time when she was 3 mos old, from lack of care? When she saw me go thru my first brain surgery at 1? When she saw that my ex tried to be part of our life again, until he beat me when she was 1 1/2? Or all the overdosing and seizures and hospitalization on those that followed? She saw my 2nd brain surgery at 3 1/2... my surgery to take the screws out at almost 5... and this surgery-- the intense AWAKE-- gone over 2 weeks hospitalization-- she is almost 9 for it. 

She was nervous that first day I was gone. She was tired. Didn't have me putting her in bed. Worn from all the places she had to go. Overall-just wanted a MOM hug, one that proved she is ALIVE... even if she has deep wires in her brain. I asked my precious hubby to please brain her up... and during all the worry time away from me... she did her usual... she got hives all over her body. So the trip up here to see me-calmed that down the rest of the time. She made several frequent visits-and was a-ok!! I know what it is like having her in the hospital-- I just don't leave. That is so tough. She and I always "argue" who loves the other "more." She has such an unbelievable heart. One that only parents can have very tiny to do with- the rest is all Jesus! And I praise Him for that!!

She would come up and love to feed me-like pay back of all the times I'd do it for her!! She has a heart beyond any I have really come across at this age, constantly. She isn't perfect.. but she is darn close when it comes to how much we are to love all, at all times with our heart. And I am so proud of her.

This little one has a controlled case of absence seizures. I am blessed controlled. Therefore she has a larger chance to outgrow them - than most. I pray she does. If not-I just pray she uses it all FOR HIS GLORY-- the way mine turned out. It has taught me the wondrous ways Christ works in our lives--great times, and very much tough times. His timing and plans are perfect. That is where I say, in all circumstances, praise Him, knowing-HE HAS HIS ANSWER, HIS PLANS... and with trust, love, obedience... they will unfold!

I Love you all-- you all were such sunlight, even on tough days-- and you always remain sunlight- in my life everyday. My head hurts-- and my shaven part is quite deep this time-- but all for HIS GLORY-- not mine! I truly praise Him for every step... and every doc He guided me to. I feel so blessed... I am just here to share!

God bless you all!! Thank you for your warm heart and care!

In His Love,

Heather (Hetty) Siebens  @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures

http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures

http://epilepsycures.ning.com

1 Peter 5: 6-7
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. Give ALL your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you!!

AMAZING DAY..... JUST CAN SAY- PRAISE YOU JESUS!!

I wound up having weird seizures throughout the night. That is always blissful, when they can see the seizure-before you know!! Then come rushing in as if you are about to die!! Perfect time early, early morning!! But any way-is a great way... thru HIM!

They came to talk. I was so blessed because my head was wakened by my nurse who had to give me a morning pill after all the chaos earlier, and check my BP etc before her shift ended. I woke up without a head THROB! Thank you all for your prayers!! Just after I was able to use the bathroom, I was up for the rest of the morning at 7:10-- in time to see my neurosurgeon come in thrilled with all going on.

He had them run that brain stimulation testing--BIG reason for all the depth wires in my brain. And it was to look at language-both reading/comprehending and very much able to read, fluently still. While they shut different parts off more... I had one odd reaction-nothing big... but my mind was all in tact, understanding, and knowing the words etc,,, but a flashing light would go off in my upper peripheral vision. Then one other at the end slowed some concentration... but otherwise ALL IS CLEAR that they are concerned about, to take out!

This has always been uncomfortable first having this first electrode surgery-- as for things in your brain is not normal.. but thru all your kind words, PRAYERS, and love-- I had an awesome day today!! Hardly any pain... to God be the Glory always. He knows the time-HIS TIME. And I sure praise Him.

They always want a couple more seizures for surgery-but they have so many of mine that it is a weird blessing. So few more nights of this wire stuff... then they will be resecting!! AMEN!

Love you all! All of you have been praying since Jan, 2009!!!! WOW--it is finally HERE! AMEN!!! I even got an awesome text message from a dear soul in Canada who somehow found out about me!! WOW!! God works wonders EVERY DAY IN OUR LIVES!! I am so grateful to have found Him and always stick to Him. Not regret any of what I went thru, or go thru-- as for I found Him, clung to Him, and in deep love with Him--watching Him work all different miracles thru every challenge! All worth it every moment. He is God-- God is GOOOOOOD!! AMEN!!

In His Love,

Heather Siebens @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures
480-717-0609 (cell)
480-342-0511 (my room)
Mayo Hospital
5777 E Mayo Blvd
(RM 5W-11)
Phoenix, AZ 85054

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Wires in, on and Brain OUT !! from Hetty Siebens on Vimeo.

Blessings ALL!!