Pain Isn't Pleasure

Arrival from AZ docs

Misery or Joy? I finally got every little-->to HUGE tests you could imagine. Many that even hurt. So that I could find out why my whole body, my joints and in between KILLED.

We went thru it, 10 days hospitalized for it. Month and a half later with it not calming at all, but worsening, I went BACK to my hospital in Phoenix (Mayo) to shove the rest of the testing in to finally make more sense.

Then I watched myself for months go thru memory pullbacks, snappiness, extreme emotional wheel from having to deal with being "well" after my 3rd brain surgery, for basically 2 great weeks-then this all began to hit. I was stuck on my "why God's" and "perhaps He just dropped me from His list, perhaps I will His to...." but there is no answer in that. Everyone down to my amazing, precious brother could tell me that-and I had prayed for years for Him to finally except Him. Didn't realize God formed THIS type of pain to draw amazing souls like my brother. That is what got me to step back and see it from a different spectrum. We all step into our life figuring out our timing during certain trials to bring people to Jesus-when in reality-that could have zero to do with it, or be a step, but not the final call for someone to accept Him. It takes others things after--it takes His timing His plan. Not ours. So with knowing that with such a quick slap of reality--I realize pain can be pleasure when you see what this chaos can do.

I am now on Cymbalta, and a pain patch to slowly come off of next week, and a pain med to go onto. I get about 2, sometimes 3 days going good-then down for at least 7-10. I have it at an extreme case right now still. So it will take time, learning more, and adjusting to it all-with fall backs. As for this isn't a ME life. Being so slow, not active. I am one who flies all over, have fun-reach out, gifts for family, Bible studies.... but now I have to juggle all on what I CAN DO, and for how long. Just amazes me. Feels like I aged quick. Sure am thankful this all happened before my friend Jason Mitchener passed away. I visited him so often in his tight, permanent nurse room for all his illnesses. As for he had a very silent life-unable to go anywhere except one special thing-planned way ahead, once a year. So I am thankful I was useful then, when I could drive, my body didn't kill me. Jesus does work wonders. 

God bless you all. Know He has reason and love for you.

The pain isn't pleasure today-but when you know you've done good for others elsewhere-then you know you are blessed thru it all.

In His Love,

Heather

Heather's Journey - Day 8

Day 8 has been a pretty good day for Heather. She has been fairly active and the RN has not had to give her nearly as much pain medication as the last few days. Heather did have some pain tonight..there is a electrode on her forehead that is really hurting her. I guess the Doctors are going to reposition it tomorrow. Hopefully that will lesson the pain. They continue to strive to get her to seize and conduct some testing...The goal is to be ready for surgery on Friday. :(   (AMEN-per Heather) We will just have to be patient and see what transpires.. Sometimes our wishes are not he same as God's wishes....He knows what is best for us! We have to just trust Him!

1 Thessalonians 2:4 Our purpose is to please God, not people. He is the one who examines the motives of our hearts.

I saw Heather post this tonight on Twitter and it rang something in my heart about the last week. Many of you may know my story, but I'm sure others do not. I'm not going to get into all the gory (only some-per Heather-he is dear!)  :) details tonight..plus this blog is not about me..;) But I will share my story enough to tell you that I have not lived up to this verse in my life. My entire life I did everything I could to please people. Sadly, that meant many poor decisions which caused heartache not only in my life, but also those people I was trying the please the most. Heather has always preached that I loved her too much. That I needed to focus less of my attention on her and more on Jesus. Don't get me wrong...I love God..but at times I forget that He should be #1 in everything I do. Over the course of my marriage to Heather I have been on a journey...a different journey than the one Heather is on..but a journey none the less. Heather talks about how she welcomes her epilepsy because it has forced her to put God first...That is the amazing thing about suffering...why is it so much easier to come to Christ when we are suffering rather than when things are good? Why is it easier to pray and surrender in hard times?
Heather has been an instrument of God in my life. Through her. God continues to mold my heart and teach me life lessons. These lessons are continuing to be solidified this week. By witnessing others actions and their outpouring of love for my wife and our family and by experiencing the pure joy of being a part of her story...her journey...I am realizing first hand the power of putting God first in our lives and I pray you are as well. What incredible satisfaction to honor our Savior first! He will not disappoint us and He will also open our eyes to the secrets of joy in this life if we choose to put Him above everything else. By putting Him first..others are pleased...God stands for us and wants us to receive joy. He is a God of Love and if we "pay it forward" His love will spread like wildfire..it will consume us..and everyone who calls Him Lord and is in the path will be caught up in a journey of a lifetime if we allow Him to lead. This is the key to happiness in life. Love the Lord God will all of your heart, mind, soul...He will love us back.
Miracles are happening everyday...enjoy the journey.


Until tomorrow. @flyingchristian (Christian Siebens)

Colossians 4: 5 
Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every opportunity.

Colossians 2: 8 
Don't let anyone lead you astray with empty philosophy and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the evil powers of this world, and not from Christ.

Day 6 - Heather's Journey Continues...

The weekend has arrived, but to Heather the days are beginning to run together. She usually keeps the lights off and the shades pulled to minimize her headache activity. It seems to me that she is beginning to get anxious for the pain to lighten up. Who would blame her! She also is complaining of a few issues that begin to occur when you are in bed and not moving for so long. But she remains strong, positive and motivated to do everything possible to make this surgery as much of a success as possible.
Today she was visited by a number of friends and relatives...When I arrived the room was full of flowers, cards, books, stuffed animals...she is fortunate to have so many people that love her..I know it helps to have people visit to pass the time and provide encouragement..but can cause headaches to increase..but don't be fooled, she is a trooper and would never pass up the opportunity to spend time with all!
Please pray for her as the Dr's begin to remove more of her meds and work to begin their testing...I hate to think of her having seizures, but I know this is a required step..so she is in the hands of Jesus. I know He will watch over her and protect her during these difficult days. Also..please continue to pray for her to be delivered from so much pain. I just got a text from her saying she is throwing up again due to the pain...I feel lost and don't know what to do other than lean on Jesus and all of you..she needs your prayers and we thank Jesus in advance for listening to the prayers you are lifting up on her behalf.
I know tomorrow will be another day of visitors..I hope it does not stress her to much. Please watch the videos Heather has been posting..she loves sharing pictures and music which are meaningful in her life. I know it is her prayer that through her life and the life of our family, others will discover the wonders of a life in Jesus..and even through her pain..she is doing her best to further His kingdom.
I couldn't love her more..or be more proud.


May you all have a blessed Sunday celebrating our Savior!